I was driving today and past a sign at a bar which read "If you want a cold beer come on in, ice cold just like your ex girlfriends heart."
And driving along that about broke my heart because every one has value.
Webster Dictionary defines value as the followed: "the regard that something is held to deserve; the importance, worth, or usefulness of something."
Importance... Worth... Those are some very deep words that not many people use in today's day and age.
I know for me recently this has been such a struggle in my life what is my worth, what is my value. Who sees me valuable or worth while. For so long I have been believing lies that I don't have worth and it sucks. I try to fill that void with empty wells that leave me satisfy for one moment but leave me so dry and empty and scorched the next moment. I haven't been following Christ as diligently and closely as I should be. And it hasn't got me anywhere.
This world feeds you the lie that you have to have "x" factor to find your value, to find your worth. Last night I was driving and I just broke down in tears realizing how sad God must be that a human created in His own image thinks that they aren't worth while or that they aren't important. Because that is a lie He thought I was worthy that He died on a tree for me, my sin piercing Him... My sin bearing the weight of the cross.
You know in the Bible I think of many incidents where Jesus looked at a person and said they have worth and they are important. Think of the prostitute caught in the act. Jesus went to her level to her lying in the dirt and forgave her, He told her go and sin no more... That He doesn't condemn her. Or what about the woman at the well who was sleeping with a lot of men who had no husband, Jesus being a Jew wasn't even suppose to be talking to a Samaritan woman but He saw her worth. Or the woman who split her alabaster jar on Jesus' feet and the other people told her what a waste but Jesus looked at her and said what a beautiful thing this woman had done.
Jesus gives life...Life more abundantly, worth and value.
Through His blood I can be called a child of God. Through Him I have value and worth and importance. I have wandered I am not going to lie, I am that sheep who wandered from the herd. Like the lyrics in Come Thou Fount an old but beautiful hymn...
Prone to Wander Lord I feel it, Prone to leave the God I love...
I think in a sense we are all prone to wander we all go astray at some point in our life but the key is to remember where you're headed. And that is what I want to head in a better direction than what I am in my life right now. To go back to herd back to the good shepherd. And the thing is Jesus has been pursing me all the while. That while I was deep in sin His love was deeper and not once did He give up on me. But He has been there even though I wandered. That He being the good shepherd chases after that 1 sheep until it is safe in His arms. He cares about His children because they are valuable to Him. They are important to Him.
I am looking forward to this new change, this getting defined by who He says I am. The hard toiling and growing period. The create in me a new heart and renew in me a right spirit. The weeds that He is going to uproot so He can plant a garden in my heart. The hurt in my heart that He will turn into healed scars. The brokenness that He will make beautiful. The worth that He states in my identity. The testimony that will come through overcoming worldly pleasures. The testimony that will only happen through the blood of the lamb. The sanctification process. The healing process. The journey
"Hallelujah we are free to struggle but we are not struggling to be free" Tenth Avenue North
Praise God He isn't done with me yet!
