A Cloud Of Thoughts

You hold my tears in a bottle and guide me with your grace & love. You lay me in the finest of pastures & you renew my spirit every day. You comfort me when I am down and you fill my cup. You're my portion you're all I could ever ask for. You're my provider, you're my healer. Though my mind is weak my heart is strong. Nothing is to big for you. You make everything work out for the good in my life. You keep your hand upon me day & night. Your promises will remain till the end. You will never harm me or forsake me. You're everything. You whisper my name and tell me everything will be ok. You call me a daughter a heir of you. You wipe away my dark and see the lovely. You know when I shall fall and when I shall rise. Everything I have done and shall do you already know. How wise are you my creator. You hold me as my papa and mold me as my maker. You won't relent until you have every ounce of my heart. You say to me that I am beautiful and wonderfully created. You see my hidden heart yet you have found it. You know what lies ahead. You say you are never done loving me. You won't walk out the door when the waters get rough. You keep pushing me to run the race when I am tired. You teach me not to be afraid. You make me rise on the wings of eagles and soar above it all. You take me back after I cheated on you for other lovers. You gave me the greatest gift of all. You reach for my all.

A Picture Painted

So I am writing kinda of late tonight but that is ok :) Do you know how much our God loves us? Last night during worship I just continued to look at the stars and just realize just how big our God is. Our God goes beyond all of our hurt pain and shame. He is BIG and how I know this was he told me something so freakishly amazing last night. As I was worshiping I felt rain drops hit me and God whispered in my ear that those painful, hurtful situations that I have been in he has cried with me. Those precious tears I have cried God stores them in a bottle. Not only does he hold them in a bottle he makes sure nothing happens to them. He takes care of the pain in our lives and makes it turn out for the good. It may take awhile for the pain to heal into relief but it is so worth it. So anyways back to the night of worship but yea it is incredible to just gaze at the stars and so amazing too. I just know that there is so much more to life when I look at the night sky. Our God is big and he is mighty to save. No matter how shattered or ugly the situation you are in our God shall paint a picture of your situation and make it look beautiful!

Deep calling Deep

Deep what is the meaning? When you say you are deep in a relationship or what not what do you mean. For some people deep means going above and beyond the surface and going down to the most mysterious level. Deep means going extending your love and hope and trust in a relationship. It means going beyond your surface emotions and really pressing in. It means going above those days when you just say I am ok but truly express how you actucally do feel. The problem now a days is so many of us I included are shallow people we don't trust going out any deeper with what we tell people. We get comfortable with just touching the surface details. We seemed to be like that little kid so afraid to go to the deep end of the pool because they cannot touch even if they have a lifeguard holding on to them. WE don't like going to the deep end in relationships because we are afraid we will drown in hurt, pain and freaking emotions. As I was looking up terms for deep they all seem to say extending far. It means letting go and actucally trusting that we will be ok in the end. It brings me to this story when I was younger I was so afraid to jump in the deep end during swim lessons because I was afraid I would drown but before I jumped in I saw my dad holding his arms wide open waiting for me to jump in them. At that moment I knew it was safe. See we do go deep in our hearts to some people but it is that trust that gives us the final security to just go deep. The trust also secures us around our hearts knowing that we will not drown. Deep calling deep in many relationships one in particular is most certaintly Jesus. He is saying my arms are open and you can go deep with me. Jesus wants us to open up to him and to let him know our heart. No more should we be shallow people with the one who created us. When we extend out heart out to him he will give you more of his. People deep is crying out to deep. God bless.

A long time

wow so I guess it has been a long time since my last entry my bad.

Long what does that mean for you? A couple of minutes? A few hours? Weeks? Months? Long is different for everyone different concepts and different meanings. When I think of long my first thought is Jesus's love for me. How long, deep, wide is his love and grace for us. A song that has really helped me through this season in my life is Grace by Laura Story. We really don't understand just how much grace he has for us that grace follows right behind his love. In the bible it states God is always ALWAYS for us and never against us. So why do we keep running when we are hurt or broken? Trust is such a hard thing for many people because somewhere in the past somebody has always broken your trust down along the line. But trust is more than a simple yes or no or a secret it is the ablitiy to understand that you are giving your most weakest moments to another person. It is giving them your all and saying please don't run away. God is saying that to us. He knows everything about you when you shall rise and when you shall fall, he knows every thought and every reaction, every tear, every laugh. He already know the most about you what we need to do is give our all to him anyways because then we will start to reliaze what stuff has been locked up trapped in our heart. When we give everything to God we start to understand more about ourselves. God wants our love to long, wide and deep with him. Love isn't a feeling but its an ablity as in a movie. Love comes from our true character not from a certain mind set, saying I have to love this person but more like I want to love this person because they deserve it. God first loved us before we were even born. Gods thoughts for us is more than the grains of the sand on a beach wow. Now that is long. I often think about why God is for me why he chose me? Well truth is he chose all of us it is a matter if we listen to the call or just ignore it. When you give God the ugly he will turn it beautiful. It is like one of my visions I had a while back I was talking about the ocean and how it was sweeping up seashells from the bottom of the ocean floor they were covered in junk at that time but when they got to the shore they were refined smooth and beautiful. That is excatly how our hearts are when the junk and crap get from the bottom of our hearts God comes smoothes it out and purifies it. I really don't know what more to say but God won't finish something He has started in you! God Bless