For I Am Changed

Harvesting berries it seems so simple but yet can be challenging at the same time...Beauty found in such simplicity.

God has been doing the most beautiful work in my life these past two months, toiling, challenging and straining at times but beautiful. If anything I have learned while harvesting wild black berries in my backyard is this that some of the most beautiful things in life, in my life especially have thorns.

No one likes getting pricked by the thorns and having the skin torn open because a thorn is stuck in the flesh, prying open up the rawness and causing pain.

I think of Jesus while writing this, the crown of thorns He wore on His head, ripping open His flesh so I could live. Thorns digging in His scalp, bleeding... bleeding for me...

Paul's thorn in his flesh how he pleaded with God 3 times to remove it but, The Lord kept it there... Why? Because it takes pain and frustration to produce beauty in the kingdom of Heaven.

Fruit it can be sweet but it can be bitter, while picking these berries I pondered the thought of the Father how every branch that doesn't produce fruit is cut of and thrown into the fire. Fruit it is not only for your enjoyment but the enjoyment of others. I have loved making jam and a couple pies with all the blackberries I have picked but what is more of joy is watching others try and eat the creations.

Life is a lot like blackberries at times moments can be sweet but also very bitter. Life can have its painful thorns, thorns that dig deep in your skin and cause you to bleed... But Christ has gone before me and endured far more than I will ever have to go through. For me to Live is Christ. My life is suppose to be a reflection of the gospel a reflection of the heart of the Father for others. It is only through the Spirit that we can produce healthy fruit, to let others taste and see how good God is in our life...

But Christ, can and will do far more than I dare to ever except or hope for in my life. He is making something sweet out of the bitter, somethings amazing from something I thought was broken. Turning those thorns into purpose, the thorns not so much to be punishment but to protect me from the enemy, who tries to steal the fruit tries to take what God has given, but the enemy is done... satan has lost and will continue to lose in my life and My GOD has WON. And the Battle is already won, my soul is secure found in the hope of Christ, I will walk my life for only the gospel. God is doing an amazing work and I am so excited to see what He is going to keep doing.

Knowing these thorns weren't ever to cause me pain but gain, gain for the sake of Christ. Gain to point others to the true gardener, the cultivator of my heart and faith. To point others back to the sake of the gospel the dying to self to gain Christ fully and more abundantly. To show others there is another side and I am standing on that, that the ONLY way we will overcome is by the BLOOD of the lamb and the WORD of our testimonies. I count it all as a loss for the sake of the gospel. What am I willing to give up for the sake of the gospel? Family, friends, jobs, my schedule, my idealizations, my plans and my dreams... It won't be easy it isn't ever easy to follow God more and more abundantly. To go where only He leads and no turning back. To say Lord, no matter what the cost to make your name known is worth it. That the thorns I got pricked on in my life, the thorns that made my heart bled are ALL worth it, if people are coming to know the Father. Coming to know and come back the arms of their first love. Knowing my thorns are nothing in comparison to the thorns my beloved Saviour wore to put His crown of glory on me. He took the thorns and the nails so I could live, not only live but live life more abundantly to live in light of who I AM IN CHRIST.

My identity is the nails, my identity is in the blood of the lamb that atoned for my mistakes, my failures, my struggles, my life. I count my life as loss for the sake of the gospel. There is a world and it is broken, it is dark and I am tired of just sitting back waiting for someone else, waiting for something to do the work that God has called me to do. It is true, this world is hungry and people are hungry for Christ, and the harvest is plentiful. If anything I have learned from picking berries is this, that there are SO many wild blackberries but not many people are willing to stand in the sun, the heat for hours to harvest enough berries to make a pie. Not many people are willing to do the labor, but I want to. I have lived my life so much in shame, in chains and in bondage I thought that I couldn't ever change. And that is true I can't change on my own, but with the power of the gospel I can do it, by the blood of the lamb I will overcome and not by my might or by my strength but the Joy of the LORD as my strength. The living and active God dwelling inside of me by the Holy Spirit through faith. The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. It is so easy to simply pass people over because we don't have time for them. I have come to a point where I am so thankful for the past two months. So thankful that my world got flipped upside down, so I could see the arms of the Father and not just see His mighty hand of RESCUE, Redemption and restoration. But see how He can use the most broken pieces, the most thorny parts of my heart to bring Him glory. My life isn't for me to live but for Christ to shine through.

I am excited to see what God is going to continue to do, to keep growing the garden He has cultivated in the depths of my heart, to see how He will keep moving in ways I didn't think He could move. He is good and He has got me so strongly in the palm of His hand. And I am only standing here today only by the grace of God and only by His love.... the Love He had to crucify His own son so I could live, and be surrounded by the Father's love...

All of My Life in Every Season...

All of my life in every season, God is still God and I have a reason to sing and I have a reason to worship...So often we try to put God in a box. Limit Him because we are human. We forget at times how Amazing and Powerful our God is.

We say to Him we don't even know how to move forward. We get stuck in our mind because at times we don't trust Him for who He says He is. At least I know I do that a lot with my walk with Him. I limit Him to what He can and cannot do in my life. I try to control Him and try to control and plan my life to a tee and when my plans don't go according to my way of doing things I get stuck, confused and frustrated. But why? I don't need to. When we try to be the author of our story it doesn't go so well. We try to pick up the pen and write but our writing of our stories end up being scribbles like that of wrote by a 2 year old but when we give God the pen it turns out to be the most eloquent cursive writing, that which you would see of the most beautiful being inside and out.

We try and try and try so hard to control how we think our lives should look. But why? Why do we like control so much maybe it is because we think if we can control we won't ever get hurt in this life. We can guard our hearts so tightly with a white picket fence and not let people in to see the raw, beauty that we fence off so no one can see how many weeds are actually in our garden. To see actually how broken we are as humans. To see the nakedness and not be ashamed of the raw.

Not only do I catch myself doing this to people but to my Lord. God already sees me how I am and yet His love doesn't change for me. His pursuit doesn't change, and His character doesn't change. To see myself how God sees me, to see His heart the True Father's heart. I think it is so easy for us to say Oh God, I trust you to the ends of the Earth, Oh God I want to be full of faith where I am only dependent on you. These are very light words to say but to actually live it out is another thing. To live fully as a dependent Child of God. Depending on Him to meet every one of your needs. It is so easy to say praise you Jesus when you have all "earthly needs" met. It is so easy to forget how desperate we need Jesus daily when you have everything.  But what happens when everything is taken out from underneath you? Where do your feet rest upon when the winds and waves come crashing against you. Will you keep Standing Firm in the Faith. You know about 2 months ago I did a huge study on how many times Standing Firm/Stand Firm in the Bible and I think I wrote out about 5 pages of scriptures not knowing what the month of June would hold for me, not knowing what the month of July would hold for me. But God knew... God knew and He didn't let go of me not once. Never once did He ever leave me all alone but He has always been with me. He knew but I didn't know, and to trust Him with everything and nothing less is much easier said than done. But sometimes it takes the roughest storm to slam us so solidly unto the Rock Of Ages. He is a cleft for me, He is the shelter in the most challenging storm. When literally you have no idea how the storm will pass or see the light of day, but to have that HOPE as an Anchor for the soul.

Standing Firm is so easier said than done, standing firm means to not even let your feet get swayed knowing the Rock is a firm foundation. A foundation which cannot be shaken even when the waves are higher than your head. I think of the past years how much God has provided for me and in those moments when I remember, I forget how God has met me and has taken care of me from my Mother's womb. That He called me according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus, and that He has a plan and a purpose for my life, my pain and my story.

What are we so afraid of when God actually calls us out upon the waters? I know in my own life I feel afraid that I am going to drown but God will NOT let that happen to me. He has got me so strongly in His hands and He will not let His grasp loosen and yeah maybe that took getting everything taken under my feet that I thought were pillars of support. But the one thing that the enemy can never take is my faith. He can't touch who I am in Christ who I am in His great REDEEMING Love. I am starting to learn who God has always been in my life. It isn't just in moments of great joy but also moments of great pain. But I am thankful for everything because it has only brought me closer to Christ, brought me back to my knees in a cry of desperation for the Saviour who can Rescue me, redeem me and restore me. The Lord gives and takes away but we have to tell our hearts to constantly say blessed be the name of the Lord. God knows what our stories look like. He knows what tomorrow holds and the next day and so on and so forth. But we don't know. We can try so hard to hold the pen in our hands and be so busy like Martha in the Bible we miss what God can do in our stillness.

We miss the quiet moments where rest is essential to rest in the green pastures and let GOD lead us besides the still waters. I try to lead myself so often it always ends up in not always the ways that God wants to lead. But praise God for grace and praise God that He is sovereign even when we are stubborn and have to learn sometimes the hard way. But God is so kind and compassionate that He does work ALL things out for the good of those who love Him and have been called according to His purpose. But we have to TRUST Him and lean only on Him and nobody else. To take into account His Word has to be our authority above all else. To lean on Him and seek boldly and diligently after Him. To rest in Him...

I know my thoughts are all over the place tonight but that is ok... That is something I am learning also right now is how to rest and I am not talking about taking a nap. But to truly rest in who GOD says He is and to rest knowing that it is ok to not know what tomorrow holds but to rest knowing I have God who knows. That nothing is impossible for Him, that same God that parted the Red Sea is the same God that is holding me. I have witnessed numerous miracles happen even since June and God will continue to do that. Sometimes we forget who God actually is, and He isn't just some miracle working God that was relevant to the Biblical Times. But He is the living God who still does miracles today and is still at work if we allow Him to do exceeding and abundantly things than we could ever dare hope or imagine to happen. But we have to let Him have full control and step out of the way to let God move and work. Don't get me wrong it's not an easy thing to do to let go of everything we hold so tightly onto and let God work in mighty and mysterious ways.

I need to not worry for God has got me so strongly in His gracious grip, holding me with His nail scarred hands. Unto God be all the GLORY and Honor forever and ever. And I will build my life upon His love for it is a FIRM foundation. So Spirit lead me where my TRUST is without borders and let me walk upon the waters wherever God would lead me and help me to never lean on my own understanding but if I am to lean let it be on the Cross and my flotation device in the storm keeping my eyes EVER fixed upon Jesus the Author and Perfecter of my faith, who for the JOY set before Him, HE endured the cross scorning with its shame so that I could live and live life abundantly in the Riches that Christ has in store for me.

Blessings
(Also let me know how I can be praying for you!)

Makayla Chalee