Loved More Than the Sparrow

Loved.... that is what is on my mind right now

What does it mean to be loved? To accept love and how to give love?

We toss that word around so much in this culture but to get to the root of what it means? I sit here tonight in a coffee shop just pondering so many thoughts but the main one that is ringing over and over is that God loves me more than the sparrows... And takes care of me more than the sparrows. My life is anything but easy right now but one thing I know is HOW GOOD God is through it all. I was reading some of my devotions the other day and this quote from Charles Spurgeon appeared and moved me to tears.

"O child of suffering, be thou patient; God has not passed thee over in his providence. He who is the feeder of sparrows, will also furnish you with what you need. Sit not down in despair; hope on, hope ever. Take up the arms of faith against a sea of trouble, and your opposition shall yet end your distresses. There is One who careth for you. His eye is fixed on you, his heart beats with pity for your woe, and his hand omnipotent shall yet bring you the needed help. The darkest cloud shall scatter itself in showers of mercy. The blackest gloom shall give place to the morning. He, if thou art one of his family, will bind up thy wounds, and heal thy broken heart. Doubt not his grace because of thy tribulation, but believe that he loveth thee as much in seasons of trouble as in times of happiness. What a serene and quiet life might you lead if you would leave providing to the God of providence! With a little oil in the cruse, and a handful of meal in the barrel, Elijah outlived the famine, and you will do the same. If God cares for you, why need you care too? Can you trust him for your soul, and not for your body? He has never refused to bear your burdens, he has never fainted under their weight. Come, then, soul! have done with fretful care, and leave all thy concerns in the hand of a gracious God."

Read that again... Let it sink it. I know something I deeply struggle with is at time overwhelming senses of anxiety. Fear of not being taken care of but it is over and over again a lie straight from the pit of hell. Why is it I can trust a POWERFUL God with my soul but when it comes to food, shelter and other "things" I flip out on God?

I am in a season where it is a daily thing to look to God to provide daily for me and not once has He failed me in these past 3 weeks yet that doubt still sits at the bottom of my heart. That doubt of what if God doesn't come through but then I need to remind myself that even if God doesn't come through that doesn't effect His character and He is LOVE, He is FAITHFUL, He is PEACE, He is JOY, He is KIND, He is PATIENCE, He is God alone. He delivered the Israelite's out of captivity and into REDEMPTION, He saw their pain and afflictions and delivered them. In this season that is all I can say is God is a God of redemption, though I may see the struggle He sees the final product. It is so easy for me to worry of the things I have NO control over. It is so easy for me to forget how FAITHFUL God has been, so easy for me to forget that if God can take care of the sparrows HOW much more will He take care of me!


Matthew 10:29-31 New Living Translation (NLT)
29 What is the price of two sparrows—one copper coin. But not a single sparrow can fall to the ground without your Father knowing it. 30 And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. 31 So don’t be afraid; you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows.

1 Peter 5:7 King James Version (KJV)
7 Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.

God has got my back! He is faithful despite that I am faithless, to truly walk by Faith and not by sight is not an easy road because anxiety can creep so bad in this life and in this culture because we truly don't understand what it means to rely on God. But I have had a small glimpse of these past 3 weeks it hasn't been easy and I have had God knock me on my knees in humbleness to Him. To cry out on my knees of just how much I need HIM not just a once a week thing but HOW DESPERATELY I need Him every hour!!! I wouldn't have been able to handle these past 3 weeks if God wasn't so strongly holding onto me and the love and grace that He has lavished upon me. I don't deserve anything from God but because of His great love for me He now calls me His daughter. 

I am learning what it means to be part of God's family and it is life changing, God is ever with me and will go before me. I don't think I will ever understand the deep deep love of my Heavenly Father but one thing I know it is ENOUGH. HIS LOVE is enough. Even if I didn't have a home His love is ENOUGH. Even if I didn't have any friends His love is ENOUGH. Even if I don't have food in my belly His love is ENOUGH. Even if I "plan" things and my life doesn't go how I planned it His love is ENOUGH. Even if I don't ever enter into a relationship His love is ENOUGH.

His love is what sustains me and is upholding me in this time of my life and I am learning how I need it ever hour. I don't need anything else because as long as I have God I am sustain and SATISFIED. I have all I could ever imagine in Christ Jesus. For these momentary life trials are just a moment no SORROW can compare to that glorious day where I will stand face to face with my creator. No amount of pain, no amount of tears I cry will ever be able to SEPARATE me from the beautiful love of my Saviour. 

Romans 8:31-39New King James Version (NKJV)
God’s Everlasting Love

31 What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32 He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things? 33 Who shall bring a charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies. 34 Who is he who condemns? It isChrist who died, and furthermore is also risen, who is even at the right hand of God, who also makes intercession for us. 35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? 36 As it is written:


“For Your sake we are killed all day long;
We are accounted as sheep for the slaughter.”

37 Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. 38 For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, 39 nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Trials and the pain it doesn't matter because God is bigger and greater than my pain. He is greater and His love is BETTER. He is my PORTION and my SUBSTANCE. He is a good, good Father. He is my PROVIDER and He is my HOPE. 

I am learning so much in this time in my life and I wouldn't have it any other way. For God is for me and that is ALL I NEED. I don't need anything else to be content, to bring me JOY. For it is the work God is doing in me which I cannot be silent about. I thought the best solution to the trials I am going through is to try to do it alone but God knocked me on my face and showed me I NEED Him and then I need others, I need the body of Christ. I need to be ok to lean on my brothers and sisters in Christ and not to do this walk alone but to let others help be the full functioning body of Christ. It is ok not to be ok, but it is ok to receive help and it is ok to let others in on my journey. It is ok and it is going to be ok. Because God is in full control and He cares so much about me. He loves me more than the sparrows. 

I tell the kids I nanny a lot who takes care of the birds and they say God. I ask them why do we sing worship songs to God? Because He is good. And when is He good? All the time. Even on good days? Even on bad days? Yes... He is good all the time because that is who He is!

My life may not be peachy keen right now but I know God is in sovereign control and my goodness how much glory God is going to get is so worth it. All the tears, all my fears, all those restless nights, all those lying on the floor crying desperately for God, all the moments of deep anxiety and all pain is going to be so worth it. And that is what my eyes are fixed upon is Jesus, for He is the only one who is going to be able to pull me through this and He has blessed me with some of the most God fearing people to help run along side me so I am not doing this alone. He is good that is what I have to say He is good. Situations and life can sometimes suck but God is GOOD. And that is enough. That is all I need....

Remembering the Mountains

Where to begin... that is a great question for thoughts that have been pondering in my head for the past little well more so long while..

I guess I will begin here, I love to hike and honestly it is so difficult at times but when you get to the view it is the most amazing breath taking just divine God created beauty...Beauty when I hear that word I do often think of raw nature the things in nature most people don't see the things God created to bring Him all the glory. Mountains can be some of the most majestic sights one can lay their eyes on. Even in Psalms it talks about mountains.

-Psalms 97:5

The mountains melted like wax at the presence of the LORD, At the presence of the Lord of the whole earth.

God created mountains for a purpose, to which I have no idea but one thing speaks of them is they reflect God's majestic awe and wonder. Not a lot of people like the hiking up the mountain part, especially if you are out of shape... 

And honestly this has been my life for the past little while I know I am hiking a very steep mountain right now and it is killing me, my spiritual muscles seem to be giving in and are cramping up the higher I climb, and if anything Satan doesn't want me to make it to the top of this mountain for he knows the beauty and Glory God is going to get. And if one thing Satan hates is God getting glory... 

God promises us though that we are not ever alone on this journey...

-Deuteronomy 31:6-8 - Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the LORD thy God, he [it is] that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee. And the LORD, he [it is] that doth go before thee; he will be with thee, he will not fail thee, neither forsake thee: fear not, neither be dismayed.

-Joshua 1:9 - Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the LORD thy God [is] with thee whithersoever thou goest.

-Psalms 55:22 - Cast thy burden upon the LORD, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved.

 So why is it so hard to climb with God in the tough seasons, when we don't "feel" him near we have to keep trekking and perseverance is let me tell you really really hard at times, I know backpacking up the Rockies in Colorado my backpack at times seemed to be getting heavy to the point of weighing me down... Praise the Lord, that God is so good and carries our burdens for us He helps make the climb a little bit easier, oh yes friends it still is a steep climb up but God has got our backs. At times I know I don't feel that God cares about the small details of my life or I sometimes question does God really care deeply about the pain I am going through but my goodness yes He does. He requires some things from us though while we are climbing... He wants us to I believe 4 things, to Love Him with everything we have, to Trust Him, to Obey Him and to love others. 

I look in my life and I see deeply the areas I am struggling, struggling to love others especially but then my goodness it is no doubt that it is because I am not following what God has asked me to do. I am in a very interesting season in my life where I know what God is speaking to me but my heart is so rebellious towards the soft spoken words he has told me,.. one of my biggest things I am learning is I can never love people if I don't first love God with ALL of my heart, how can God enable me to be in a relationship if I am not giving God my whole heart first... Second trusting Him, it is another one of my deepest struggles it is so easy to get caught up in worry that I take my eyes off of Christ and then realize oh my goodness I am sinking... I have to trust Him, He is the author and perfecter of my faith, He knows when I rise and when I fall, He formed me in my mother's womb and scripture points saying He knows what is best for His children. So why, why do I worry? I have no legitimate excuse I try to make them but it all comes down to the lack of trust I am not putting in my beautiful Saviour. God asks us to obey Him, because again He knows what is best for His children. The season I am is so challenging because God has specifically told me to do something but my heart is so wicked above all things and I don't want to, I don't want to wait... 

But then I look at the reoccurring theme in human kind since the beginning of Creation. God asked His people to do something and what did they do? The exact opposite... For example

God: Don't eat of the tree of good and Evil 

Eve: Ok I won't eat of the tree I promise... 

God: Eve where are you? Did you eat of the tree that I told you not to? 

Eve: Yes.... Because well excuses, excuses, excuses

God: Abram you will bear a son 

Abram: Ok God I trust You

Sarah: God doesn't seem like He is fulling His promise sleep with my maid 

Abram: Ok... 

God: Sarah you will bear a child at 99 

Sarah: Laughs at what God has promised 

God: Ok Israelite's I just delivered you and redeemed you from the hands of the Egyptians and now here is the promise land 

Israelite's: Ok well we will just worship this golden calf because it brought us out of Egypt 

God; Because of your disobedience you will wander the desert for 40 years

There are many more examples in the bible but it is a reoccurring theme, humans are so prone to do the opposite of what God has asked and it doesn't ever end well and honestly I think it breaks my heart knowing I am just like the Israelite's, just like Sarah and most certainly just like Eve... I laugh when God promises something or question did you really say that? God doesn't joke when He promises something.. Lack of obedience with God ends with our hearts turning more away from God. I think so often in my life when I seem to be in a "desert season" or God why don't I see what you're doing, I have to think back to what the last thing God asked me to be obedient in was. And boom there is usually the solution to the problem. I know why my heart is so rebellious because we are sinners saved by grace. And I deeply know that the moments I don't listen to God I am deliberately disobeying Him and in the moment my flesh loves it but right after that I feel that distance, that longing to be back in God's presence in His loving embrace.  If anything I am learning while being a nanny is kids don't listen often and you tell children certain things so they will not get injured or hurt. So often this is how I am with God, I don't realize I am that child and God only wants what is best for me to protect me and love me. I just am so rebellious I don't want to do what He has told me because I think I know what is best for my life, but in the end I realize that God is always right He knows us better than we know ourselves.Because if we are not obeying God then we cannot learn to love people. 

The only way you can learn to love people is by learning to love Christ first, we look at the fruits of the Spirit and they are LOVE, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, long suffering and self control. Love operates as a verb in Christianity it means putting others before yourself. Again another lesson I have learned while nannying kids need that love, but it is a self less love you have to give to them or they will not receive it... It means their needs come before my needs it means that even if they throw a fit that I am still going to be loving in my ways and not ever take my frustration out on them. Loving others with a selfless love is hard but in the end it reflect solemnly the heart of Christ. Who loved me enough to give himself up for me. 

This season I am is a different kind of difficulty level than I have ever faced. But I am learning that mountains each have different elevation and steepness levels. I look back and see those other mountains I have climbed but seem to not be as difficult as this but then I remember each mountain is different and they all had amazing views.  It is not an easy climb and I wouldn't wish this on a single person but I know God is building my character in this climb and teaching me to let people in to come along side me to hike up this trail and share their water with me if I get a little thirsty. He is teaching me to keep going and not to stop but take baby steps if needed because I don't have to run up this mountain but I can enjoy the view while slowly hiking it. I know the biggest thing is God telling me to wait and I have to obey Him because the view will be worth the wait. The beauty is that when i get tired of this climb His yoke is easy and His burden is Light, that He will take away my backpack so it makes my climb a little more burden-less. What I can say Is God is so good and I am thankful for the mountains He has taken me over and the one I am climbing and the ones to come. I am thankful God hasn't ever left me nor abandoned me. I am thankful for the other believers on this hike that we can encourage one another to keep going..... 

God Bless you all...