In the Stillness

 In the stillness... We hear God is speaking but to what degree? What degree is He speaking....What is He saying? Can the God of the universe really hold my heart in this season of when my heart is completely shattered.... 

I know He is the waymaker, He is working in my situation to make everything in my life turn out for the good its just the waiting season now, the walking through the death of a marriage and up from the ashes beauty shall rise. I almost feel as if my heart has had a forest fire happen to it and all I see is the ash left behind something so incredibly beautiful at one point is now a burnt down hell. 

I hear God reaching for me and caressing my heart, carefully and patiently making into a new creation. Out of the ashes... Out of the ashes we will rise, and in the place of suffering there is a God worth worshipping on the wings of worship we will rise....

To rise above the pain that is what I want to do, but this pain isn't like anything I have ever felt before in my life... But God is here, He is here holding my heart and gently speaking into my heart that it is going to be ok... I don't know how it is going to be ok but one step at a time it will be ok. What I am learning about God is that God is a good God, He HATES oppression, injustice and hates to see His children hurt. Sin is something so ugly that can take something beautiful and make a living hell out of it. 

Sin is sin and it was my sin that nailed Jesus to the cross, but I am in a season where sin has different consequences. I pray that God would take this pain away in my heart that He would renew what has been lost and stolen, and there is a season for that but right now I have to walk through the burnt down forest and know that Jesus is right there with me. 

See the issue with sin is it doesn't just effect you, eventually the dark parts that you have in your heart will get brought to light and it will effect others around you just like the wildfires this summer the smoke reached other states and caused other people pain.... 

I feel as if I am standing in the aftermath searching for the smallest thing alive but everything is dead. The trees of my heart burnt to ash, the hopes and dreams burnt to ash... But along the way Jesus is right beside me. And there will come a day when that tree blossoms forward out of the ashes...

A song that has been resonating so much with is this... 

"Up from the ashes

God You are making something beautiful

For You have won my heart

No longer ruined I have been ransomed by Your jealous love

For You have won my heart"

up from the ashes.... He is making something beautiful, the burnt ash rubble of my heart Jesus will redeem.... He knows my heart, He hears my cry and He will come and rescue me. 

He is my rescue story and the beautiful thing about being in this situation is there is NOTHING that can separate me from the love of Christ. He will sustain me in this time and He is the better husband. All I hath needed He will provide for me nothing is too hard for our Lord. And I am trusting him that a forest will grow from the destruction. 

I am learning to lean on the rock of Ages, the only one who can sustain me in this time. He will not fail me and He has good plans for me. And though the enemy may come to steal, kill and destroy God has come to give life and life abundantly. 

So here is to the healing season may God restore and redeem everything the enemy has stolen and may God grow a garden from the ashes....