Being Rooted in Him

Growth... sometimes it can feel like an inchworm just inching along or other times it can feel like a night time street race.

Sometimes I think we are afraid of growth we are afraid to build are cocoon and transform into what God has called us to be. Why are we so afraid? I think it is because we hold onto stuff that make us comfortable. Things, hobbies, idols, pointless crap and most of all our own self ambitions.

Things that weigh us down from succeeding to grow. Things that slow down our mentality our focus on Christ.

I was reading through Colossians tonight  and I want to live a life worthy of Colossians 2:6 "So then. just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live your lives in Him. ROOTED and built up in Him, strengthen in the faith as you were taught, and OVERFLOWING in thankfulness.

I have gotten to a point in my life where I am beginning to be ok to let go of the things in my life anchoring me down from the potential growth I could be exceeding in Christ. I need growth or I won't be able to function, I NEED JESUS DAILY.

I don't just need Him when I am hurting but I need Him daily. He is beginning to grow a garden in my life and plant the most beautiful and exotic flowers in my heart I could ever imagine. I have been for so long telling God that certain parts of my heart are off limits. Certain parts are too muddy, too dirty are filled up with crap. But think about it the most dirty and gross crap filled soil produces the best crop.

I want Him to continue to mold me and grow me into the woman I am called to be:

A woman of integrity, who walks in purity, who yields at all times the fruits of the Spirit. A woman who name is grace and sees others with mercy. A woman who strives for godly standards and says no to the things of this world. A woman whose heart is so focused on God, that mere men won't stir affections or longings. A woman who is prepared for a godly marriage and who respects who her husband will be. A woman who is trained in the ways of the Lord so she can pour out her wisdom on her children. A woman who yearns for the heart of Jesus every day and every hour. A woman who fears the Lords and listens to His heart. Who fervently prays and walks in faith when sight isn't possible. Who waits on the Lord and trust ALL of His ways and His timing. A woman who speaks with elegance and all her conversations are seasoned with salt. A woman who can give an answer to the hope she bestows deep in her heart. A woman who strives for holiness and not just lukewarm. A woman whose light shines so brightly for Christ. A woman whose lips and actions glorify God.

That's the woman I want to become and it is by God's grace and His mercy He will strengthen me to uphold and succeed in His will.

I am tired of just trying to change myself trying to grow the garden myself. It is ultimately up to God. It is His garden. And I am ready. I am ready for 2017 to bring glory to God. To grow me in unimaginable ways.

This past year 2016 was one of the hardest years I have gone through. It started with February I got diagnosed with an auto immune disease that doesn't have a cure just medication therapy hit and miss. Then in May I lost a very dear family and a job. My nanny job was more than a job but truly was a family who I looked up to and aspired to be. June came and I ended up getting raped and became pregnant after that rape. I ended up miscarrying in July and that was a very hard thing I went through. It sent me into a very dark depression. I ended up in the hospital again for severe depression. I lost many friends in this time and much support. After getting out of the hospital it wasn't far after the ways of the world began to entangle me. I was soon deep in sin, entangling myself deeper and deeper. I thought I could save myself that I could get out my sinful habits that were starting to become a way of living, a way of coping. Soon in October, God shook me very hard and got my attention. That if I kept living this lifestyle I would soon end up dead or worse. It was God's grace, His hand upon me during this time.

I tried this year to grow a garden but I ended up killing the things I planted. For it isn't for me to plant, it is the Gardeners. It is His great might and His great grace I am here today. It is by His grace that His is going to keep growing me and keep uprooting what needs to be uprooted. I am nowhere near done for He will never be done with me until He calls me home.

But I do know this God is doing a good work in my life and I am excited to see what God is going to do in my life this year. When Jan 1,2018 comes to look back and see that God was good and His love prevails above all else. I don't want 2017 to be a repeat of what 2016 looked like but I know this that no matter what comes God is for me and God is ENOUGH for me. I don't need anyone but Him. For He is my light and my strength. He will uphold me and protect me, He will deliver me from evil. He is my sun and my shield. A mighty fortress I can run to and be safe.

Growth is what He desires for all of us, to grow to who we are called to be and I know I am called to more than just a "Christian" but more so a Godly Woman.

I am ready.... Unto God be all the Glory

God Bless