There is Hope

So recently there has been a lot on the news of the death of Robin Williams and I want to shed some light on this subject. For those who've never been through depression or don't know what it is like I want to try to help you understand. In middle school through high school I suffered from depression and recently from February-June depression hit me so hard. I saw a quote on the internet a while back how depression is like you are drowning except you can see everyone else around you breathing. This is am accurate description in these past months I felt so dead inside and that nothing was going to help, that I'd always be in that state and that nothing could help, I even thought about suicide often I thought it would be the best option and that my pain would all go away. It got so bad that I ended up Overdosing on my medication and had an ambulance come and pick me up truth be told it was one of the most scary things of my life but when I overdosed I did one thing I called a crisis hotline and it helped a lot. Depression is dark and scary a while back I wrote this poem trying to describe what it is like and for the readers out there I have gotten so much better and I am a healthier person now it took a lot of work but I can say God was with me and overcame the darkness in my life. " I want the brokenness to end. I don't want to be a sick number in a study but I want to live again. I want to be able to pull myself out of bed and look forward to the day to have that joy again to be free, free to be me. It is depression is like you are drowning yet everyone else is still breathing. How do I get to that point to push off this blanket that is suffocating me from the inside out. I look and see scars but they don't even reflect the pain of internal scars I don't want to be a statistic I want to be me. I want to break free but my wings are crusted together of the dried blood from the past. They are broken, broken from the inside. I want to break out of this cage where I am a sparrow trapped with a bunch of crows in an airtight birdcage. I know the WORD, I know the Rock but it seems my heart is slipping on a trail of confusion and pain I know God will come trough. I know I am bought, bought with such a high price, I know this but I don't know, know this I want to believe I want to be set free." Depression is a real thing it's not some made up and it sucks. Please if you are in a dark place there is hope there is help. If you're loved one is going through depression the best and most thing you can do is be there for them and don't lay judgement on them. If you are struggling with the idea of suicide and think the pain isn't worth the fight I can tell you there is hope and help. Please call 1800-suicide if you are in need of talking to someone, your life is worth it. You're not a lone the pain will lessen I speak because I am a survivor of depression/suicidal thoughts. You're life has value YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!!