Grief...

 Today I wanted to talk about grief... I think it is something that isn't talked about enough because we want to hide the pain, we want to not be vulnerable...Grief can be so painful, it can be screaming while having your heart be wide open bleeding everywhere. 

Grief can come in waves too, sometimes they are tsunami's and sometimes they are ripples. But if you sit long enough in the waves to let the emotions roll over your feet you will learn something. You are strong enough to withstand the waves. You are strong enough to withstand... 

I have had so much grief in my life from: loosing friendships, my dog Timber, not finishing Bible College 6 of my babies, my Grandma, my dog Rosie, jobs, the idea of having a body without auto immune disease, and I have lost parts of myself I don't ever think I will be able to retrieve. But maybe just maybe in part of grief you end up finding a better, a more hopeful version of yourself. 

I think of my grandma often, she lived to be 100 years old, she passed away April 2025, she was such a cornerstone of my faith and a pillar of hope in my life. Any time I would call her we would have the most special conversations. During the end of every phone call she would say "Makayla I pray for you all the time." How I wish I could hear her voice one more time. I wish I could pick up that telephone and listen to her one more time or write her one more letter...

I think we are scared to sit in our grief for a moment and listen to the waves of emotional pain wash over our bleeding hearts. I think we are scared to slow down and just listen to what our grief is trying to tell us. 

Psalm 10:14 states this. 

"But you, God (YAHWEH), see the trouble of the afflicted; you consider their grief and take it in hand."

The God of the universe considers our grief how precious must we be to God that He cares for us, He cares that some days we cry remembering the pain. Some days we say Lord give me the strength because these waves are so big. 

John 16:20 states this (what is amazing is this is actually words Jesus himself said.)

"Very truly I will tell you, you will weep and mourn while the world rejoices. You will grieve, but your grief will turn to joy." 

The context of this passage is important if I learned some things from Bible College is that scripture needs to be taken in context the overall portion of this passage in John was Jesus prepping the disciples for what was to come with his death on the cross. He was prepping them that they would mourn over his death but to rejoice because their grief will turn into joy. 

Joy isn't just an emotion it is a choice; joy is different than happiness. Happiness can sometimes depend on something you could lose. Joy is stating "Lord I don't know how you will make a way, but I will continue to trust you." Joy did you know the most Joyful book written in the Bible is Philippians? When Paul was in prison. "Count it all JOY my brothers when you face many trials."

Joy sees beyond the grief, now I am not saying it isn't ok to feel your emotions, God made our emotions for a reason. Grief is part of being on this beautiful journey being a human. God didn't make our thought patterns black and white. I know I struggle at times to see the grey or the color in-between. But what if grief has some color? What if the depths of grief can produce some of the most vivid colors in your life you didn't know existed? 

He sees your tears and though sorrow may last through the night joy comes in the morning.

Please let me know how I can pray for you. I think that is all I have to write today God bless my dear friends, may you truly know how loved you are and you're not alone. 

Love, 

Makayla